Ok, so 2015 is not as I’d imagined.
I thought I’d be deschooled – an indication that I needed to deschool more!
I thought I’d have more time. Yet it seems that time is something I am wanting more of. I’m working part time, granted it’s not much maybe the equivalent of 2 days per week. But it’s time I’m taking away from the kids. It’s not their time that I’m thinking about – they get to carry on with this just being a part of their lives. It’s my time. And not in a selfish way am I considering this my ‘loss’. I’m missing out on seeing the kids true, but I’m also losing time where I can watch them make connections and think about what else they’d like or would interest them and take their learning to a new place or depth. This means that the time I have with them is reduced and so fitting in the ‘have to’ stuff like cooking and cleaning feels even more burdensome! Now my house is by no means immaculate, I doubt any unschoolers is! But at the same time we can’t live in filth.
I know my biggest issue is that i am still seeing these moments of living – and yes cleaning and cooking is part of that – as separate to learning. Cue deschooling and an appropriate time to find a ‘deschooling for parents’ post by Sandra Dodd. I’d stopped reading for a while and was trying to implement some of these new ways into our lives but I’m glad to have come across this. In terms of speech, I think I’m purging schoolishness rather successfully. But it’s the thoughts. I’m still thinking ‘school’ and ‘subjects’. The time I feel I’m losing, is that another schoolish worry about my kids being behind perhaps? I know I do truly miss them, and thankfully they get to spend this time with their dad and not a third party (mostly).
I’m still at the place of wondering if I’m doing the best for my kids I guess. I know that school is not it for them. But I’m thinking about school as a place only. now to deal with the rest of it. The learning they do in school (or rather the stuff they try to teach) is not needed. It really isn’t! I really believe that. But my fear is getting in the way.
I’m actually really enjoying this journey. I’m seeing things that I never saw before. And I’m also realising how judgemental I can be. like there is a right and a wrong. Again, schoolish thoughts.
One of the biggest issues I’m finding are finding other true unschoolers. I’m not sure why that matters. I keep coming across people that say they are, and then I discover they aren’t. maybe I want someone to prove to me it can work? Not sure. best I concentrate on us a little more. I have been saddened this week by Daniel bringing my phone to me. Clearly he sees me with it way too much. that will be the major change immediately!