So I haven’t long started the blog and already I’m not adding as much as I’d like! Summing things up a little at the moment – overwhelmed!
There’s a number of things, I’m not really sure what direction I want this blog to take. (And why do I feel the need to categorize it, being MY blog is enough right?)
But the biggie is of course the kids. My to-do lists grow every hour, my time spent on other things reduces. I’m ok with that, except for the guilt I feel whenever I have to do something and kids running at me in protest. Occasionally I want some ‘me’ time, usually for exercise! And there’s always the posts you see about how taking time away from kids is important. To be honest that’s never sat right with me. It’s not that I think you shouldn’t be away from your kids, it’s the idea that you have to be in order to be yourself. As if in by being away from your kids allows you to be yourself. I am myself with my kids, I’m happy, I’m their mother. That’s me. And as all this was happening I came across ‘life through a lens of unschooling’ chapter 8 and it was what I finally needed.
I’m noticing Alex get bored, and the turning to TV as a default activity. In all fairness it’s pretty hard with an almost toddler, especially when said toddler breaks his leg 🙁 (more guilt please). My kids just don’t do anything unless I’m involved. It’s always been that way! I’ve occasionally wondered what I’d done wrong – how come other people’s kids just entertain themselves and play independently. Independent play seems to be the goal. My kids have great attention spans, so it’s not that. They just need my interaction, my presence and my interest. Sandra Dodd’s ‘cheery neglect’ piece really helped me to see that independent play should not be a goal, and in fact what we are doing has been unschooling. It always has been. Being connected and needed in this way is the ideal starting point for our unschooling future.
I said originally I’d deschool til the end of the year. I keep reading that I’ll move past that idea of starting unschooling and find myself there seamlessly. I don’t yet feel that way though. I’m still craving organisation… (though not organised activities). I guess I need to find the best way for the kids to learn. I’m keen to just let things go until 2015. It will be hard for Alex especially as our socialising will drop off significantly as his friends all start school. I’m preparing myself.